Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
Dear children, when you look under your bed, what exactly are you planning to do when you find me? Sincerely, The Monster.
I learned most of what I know about dropping pianos on people from cartoons.
My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
Sometimes my attention span is shorter than a gold fish crackers are delicious.
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.
I don`t need to go to church in order to feel ashamed of myself on Sunday morning.
If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they`d put cocaine back in their recipe.
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
H&R Block said I won`t get nearly as much back in taxes this year because apparently the neighbors want to claim their own children.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?