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If you try and don´t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
Your secret is safe with me as long as it`s boring.
Marriage tip: Don`t
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
It`s all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often