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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Do you ever just sit there and think “why am I not rich”?
Just once, I`d like to see an honest Facebook status, like "happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Spent $50 on E-bay to enlarge my happy place. The creep sent me a magnifying glass.
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
I tried to login on my iPad. Turns out it was an etch-a-sketch and I don`t own an iPad. Also. I`m out of alcohol.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
Every time I see a pregnant woman, I very much want to ask if she swallowed a watermelon seed.
I`m motivated by a need to leave something meaningful in the world & a profound desire to shove it in the face of anyone who`s rejected me.
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”