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Everyone around me keeps telling me I`m mean ... Which is absurd ... Plus, they`re ugly.
Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
I checked my horoscope today and all I can say is ...WOW!! I`m a Taurus and I looked it up and sure enough,it says I was born between 4/21-5/21!! Well played horoscope, well played.
This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she`s never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.
I see dead people. Well technically they`re stupid people, but give me a few minutes
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.