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Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
I just ended a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn`t mine.
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
Just got nominated for an Oscar for my role as "man surprised his credit card was declined"
People who over-exaggerate make me so mad that I just want to light everyone on fire.
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.
"Is everything OK?" "Well, I`ve been kind of down since the divorce..." "I meant with your pasta, sir."