Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
Today is one of those β€œyeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.