Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Snoring is just God`s way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, `You`re only interested in one thing,` and you can`t remember what it is.
I would offer moral support ... But my morals are questionable.
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?
9/10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip
Walmart needs observation decks.
Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.
After Monday and Tuesday... even the week says WTF!
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
Something about summertime brings out the beer guzzling Homer Simpson in me.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if Iām right!!!!