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My 83 year old neighbor got pulled over for speeding. She told the cop she had to hurry before she forgot where she was going.
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering all my questions...
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
Sometimes, talking to a woman requires a translator.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect
I bet someone could get really rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights!
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.