Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A sure fire way to lose an afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
I`m more confused than a homeless person on house arrest.
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
If you`re wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don`t google `old man bond age`
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.