Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Boss: Why aren`t you working? Me: I didn`t see you coming!
I just started dating a homeless girl and it`s great! When I take her home, I can drop her off anywhere I want.
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
If you want to preview of the new iPhone 8 and try it out for free before buying it just look at your iPhone 7 and pretend it cost several hundred dollars more.
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
Not to brag, but my bathroom floor is so clean I can sleep on it. Apparently.
Having a bad day? Imagine a T-Rex trying to masturbate. you`re welcome.
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, you should try returning them.
Women- God’s version of a Rubik’s cube.