Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Once in a while you meet a person that makes you smile when you think about them. They`re trouble. Stay away from them.
Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
One square left on the toilet roll and no extras in the cupboard. Well played, honey. Well played.
Ha, SUCKA`S! I just smuggled a bag of popcorn into the movie theater. Now I just need to borrow their microwave.
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed, not my fault they dont have windows ...
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
Irony is paying a therapist to listen to how you don’t like talking to other people.