Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
If your wife asks you if you know where the broom is, it`s not a good idea to ask her if she is going somewhere.
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
There`s no panic like trying to press "End" when you make an accidental call.
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
When someone tries to tell me they can`t do something, I`m like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
Women my age expect a man to have his sh!t together by now. Time to start dating younger women.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)