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My favorite moment is the 5 minutes every day when coffee overlaps with wine.
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can`t conjugate verbs.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
Sometimes I really think I have my life together...and then I realize my underwear is on inside-out.
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Hell Yes.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.
That time Homer`s arms were stuck in a vending machine until he realized he could just let go is basically what all of life is like