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Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
The secret to dancing is to pretend you have a wedgie and you`re trying to get it unstuck without using your hands.
Whenever someone invites me to their home and I see more than 3 cars parked outside, I keep driving just in case it`s an intervention.
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
English = Hello. Spanish = Hola. French = Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa. Chinese = Nî Hâo. Italian = Ciao. Me = Sup B*tches.
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves ...That`s where I come in...
My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.