Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever ... Bartenders, they are called bartenders.
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
After watching copious amounts of crime dramas I`ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only target women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. Feeling much safer now.
My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
If you`re sick and tired of every Asshole on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
I`m flattered that you took time out from your lack of a life to judge mine.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
Life is short, Smile while you still have teeth.
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.
"Is everything OK?" "Well, I`ve been kind of down since the divorce..." "I meant with your pasta, sir."