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People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
You hate me? I didn’t even know you existed.
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
I hate when my mom tells people I`m 503 months old.
I`m a multi-taking procrastinator. I can put off all kinds of things all at once.
I told my family that I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle…So, they got up, unplugged my computer, and threw out my wine.
Is it annoying when people answer their own questions? Yes it is. Do I wish they would stop? Absolutely.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
I`m awesome ... Don`t question it, just deal with it.