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the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throw away ANYTHING, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican drug lord..
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
I am going to open "The Karma Cafe" There will be no menus though. You will get what you deserve!
That one-day popularity on Facebook because it’s your birthday.
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
I`d stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff.
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE!
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?