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I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
Dad: Son its a fact that masturbation can lead to blindness. Me: Dad... Im over here ..
I don’t have bumper stickers because I don’t believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
The thing I miss most about being young is knowing everything.
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren`t going to see me 7 more times before then.
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
I just made my first snow angel!! ... Ok fine.. I got bored, got drunk and then passed out in the snow, whatever!
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...