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Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
Tonight, I`m bringing Sexy back! I just hope I don`t need a receipt...
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where is my phone?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch, dumba$$."
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.
Home is where the alcohol is.