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Just seen a sign reading "PAY ATTENTION WHILE WALKING your Facebook status update can wait". While on Facebook on my phone. While walking...
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
facebooked yo mama!!!
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
Apparently when your girlfriend says "f*ck that bitch", you`re not supposed to take her seriously.
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
Hangovers are nature`s way of grounding you as an adult.
I`m telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can`t walk for a month.