Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
People say, “You have to work on a marriage.” I say, “No thank you. I already have a job
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don`t give a damn!
No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
If your problem can`t be solved by me saying "damn" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn`t come to me for help.
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
How much time has to pass before grave robbing is considered archaeology?
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
I saved over $1000.00 on Black Friday. I stayed home and didn`t shop.
This could be the best day ever… but it isn’t. Again.
When setting the table, does the remote go to the left or the right of the dinner plate?