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Hi, welcome to adulthood! You`ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
I`m not feeling myself today ... would you do it for me?
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ “Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?”
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies.
The filling in this fortune cookies tastes like paper...
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
You mellennials and your obsession with public healthcare, back in my day we just died!
In my day we had to roll the windows up and down with our bare hands.