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Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
Never call me creepy. You`re the only one that doesn`t even know we`re engaged.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
You know nothing about a woman until she`s drunk and mad at you
How much time has to pass before grave robbing is considered archaeology?
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."
If you would`ve told me back in 1999 that we`d still be using animated gifs in 2015, I would`ve said "Wow, what a boring conversation"
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.
My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you`ll need a shovel and map to find him.
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.