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Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
I`ve heard of women that aren`t crazy ... but I`ve also heard of unicorns, so whatever...
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. Not the best idea a man ever had ;)
I don’t always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don`t make the rules people.
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han