Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become..
60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
Facebook posts with 12 hashtags, who the f*ck are you trying to reach?
LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren’t paying attention.
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out.
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"