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When I was young I dreamed of saving the world, now I just dream of making through each month.
If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
A birth control pill a day keeps the mini-van away.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they`ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what`s really going on
I`ll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way.
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it...... I found the rubber band.
It’s 2015, why cant you unselect a floor in an elevator yet?
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.