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Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
I`m on a pepperoni pizza cleanse.
Hardest thing in life: Trying to look happy when no money falls out of your birthday card.
The only thing worse than "the one that got away" is the one that won`t go away.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.
For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever