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Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
Dear neighbor mowing your yard this morning, I found my bagpipes for tonight.
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning.
1, 2 Freddie´s coming for u 3, 4 better lock the door 5, 6 grab your crucifix 7, 8 gotta say up late 9, 10 never sleep again
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
I`ve reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
There better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober.
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.