Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why hasn`t anyone invented a button next to the snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if Iβm right
honestly I`ve never seen a tombstone that read "died from not forwarding a text to 10 people"
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
Still haven`t answered my life`s calling... I`ve always just assumed it dialed the wrong number.
No pants are the best pants.
The really cool thing about being a husband is having your mistakes constantly pointed out.
Itβs pretty scary that before facebookβ¦ All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the βFor External Use Onlyβ warning labels.
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.
Youβre not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...