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There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
You make me want to be a drunker person
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
My local hairdresser just got arrested for selling drugs. Unbelievable! I`ve been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!
I seem to start my day backwards. I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
My favorite beer is an open one.
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
If my life was a GPS it would constantly be recalculating
How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.
If you Google the word `overreacting` there`s a picture of me using a fire extinguisher on a spider.
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.