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I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
"Man, you know your bible verses forwards and backwards" - said no one ever
Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you’re an adult!
If you`ve never put fake blood capsules in your mouth before going to the dentist you are too mature to be my friend.
Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don`t like being that guy holding two purses.
Somebody needs to invent a voice-activated refrigerator on wheels.
Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time...
I always find the "easy-open tab" right after I finally manage to tear the package open with my teeth.
There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed, not my fault they dont have windows ...