Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
I forgot to make a resolution, so I`m pretty much going to just write out everything I did last night and add the word "stop" to the beginning.
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
This stupid lady is taking forever using her damn coupons for her groceries. All these rolls of pennies are heavy! Hurry up!
Turtles make an awesome jogging buddy.
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
Word for today: Dipshidiot
My closet is like 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.
90% of parenting is just screaming at your kids to stop screaming.
Doormats are a gateway rug.
I just want you to be happy. And naked.