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I don`t ever know where I`m at till I`m there
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
If you don’t feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend… you’re not doing it right.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
Sleep is my drug, the bed my dealer, the alarm clock the police.
My favorite thing about working out is the part where I decide not to.
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
Q: What is the best thing God ever created? A: The vagina. Q: What was the worst thing God ever did? A: Put women in charge of them.
When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.
I think I may be getting harder to love.
:): The Bipolar smiley face
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.