Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
When you`re trying to change the channel on the tv, and the remote starts ringing, you`re probably drunk.
It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
Definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results
When I`m at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend.
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
I ordered a pizza when my wife went into labor. Thad ad said, "buy a pizza, and get free delivery.
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.
Sometimes, even I`m afraid of the things my mind comes up with.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE!