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I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
The last time I got drunk I married Satan..I`m not doing either one again
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
Raise your hand if you have already spent your daylight savings
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
i wasnt tht drunk u was holding a ballon thinking it was a comdom
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
Question everything...Or should you?
I embraced my inner child today and the lil` bastard bit me!
I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It’s the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets.