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Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
The only thing worse than dramatic girls facebook statuses…dramatic guys Facebook statuses.
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
If people don`t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads, you`re doing something wrong.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
No man has ever won a game of `notice anything different about me?`
A 4-way stop is an IQ test you take in public.
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.