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Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
99% sure my soulmate is a piece of pizza.
It`s just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
"10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You`re Going Straight to Hell" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
I changed siri to a male voice and now my car keeps taking me to strip clubs and auto parts stores
Being an adult is mostly waiting to leave places you didn`t want to go to in the first place.
A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
Letting my dad play Angry Birds on my iPad is like showing a caveman fire.
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
All of my plans for the future start out with “when I get rich”
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.
I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers