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Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
I don’t understand how my house gets so messy when I literally sit in one spot with my phone all day.
From what I can gather, men hit their sexual peak around age 18. And women hit theirs as soon as the divorce is final.
I wish "it`s the thought that counts" worked for housework.
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
Pizza gal reads my order back to me and says,"You have one large thick sausage, anything else?" With a smirk I reply,"Yes, I`d also like to order a pizza."
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
Still no news on the royal baby. One will assume its being delivered by Royal Mail
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
Does "Can I take your order?" sometimes mean "Let`s start a new life together" or am I reading too much into this?
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
If Santa doesn`t bring me something good I`m going to pee in his lap like I did when I was eight.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
I`d be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive.