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If I work up the courage to tell you I love you...the least you can do is introduce yourself to me dammit.
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
A good lawyer knows the law ... A great lawyer knows the judge.
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
Hey ladies, you know that feeling you get when you roll over & realize you made a horrible mistake? I could give that to you every day.
Dearest Neighbors, Please do not call the police, it`s not domestic violence or a wild party. It`s football season, that`s just me screaming at my TV.
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.