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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
It doesn’t matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
Is there a 5-second Rule for when you drop babies? ...Asking for a friend. JK people!!! LOL ;)
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who opens up their Hershey Kisses ever so gently so that the foil doesn’t tear.
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to go poop after you get out of the shower.
pens and pencils are drumsticks and desks and textbooks are drum kits. its a fact.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
Be nice to your kids. They get to choose your nursing home.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.