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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
Does Facebook have a “You’re not smart enough to be talking about politics” button?
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
My 12 step program means parking closer to the bar.
For some people, a new year means a new chance to f*ck it up all over again.
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
Next time you`re in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "