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How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
If only life was as easy as getting fat.
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
I`m going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
If history has taught us anything, it`s that reheated french fries are gross.
I inherited my dad`s sense of humor. He`s not funny either.
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
People say nails on a chalkboard is the worst sound ever... I think it`s the alarm clock in the morning.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.