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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Swag is for boys. Class is for men.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
You know what`s really great about being a narcissist? Me.
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don`t hit me again officer...
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...