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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
Iām classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
Once your pants catch fire, the fact that you`re lying becomes less important.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
I can`t believe The Stones are still doing it after all these years. Someday I want to have a marriage like Fred and Wilma.
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
Water is so good when it`s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world...