Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people......
I asked my kid “do you know why we have a Thanksgiving holiday?” He said, “Sure! It’s so we know when to start Christmas shopping!”
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
The one thing women don`t want to find in their stockings on christmas morning is their husband
If I`ve learned anything from the Kardashians it`s that I shouldn`t let my complete lack of talent hold me back.
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
“Shit ton” is my favorite unit of measurement.