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I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
I`m sorry I got salsa on your baby, and I`m extra sorry I scraped it off with a chip
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
New word of the day: Stupidiot!!
Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
Sometimes when I`m bored, I pick out a girl from my list of FB friends that I`ve never actually met and then go back on her timeline and like every single post she made in like 2009......That should freak her out a bit...
You really can`t say your laundry is done unless you are completely naked
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.
I`ll never need a shrink as long as my wife keeps pointing out whats wrong with me...