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I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
I finally got some "me time" being away from the kids. Two whole hours. Would have gotten more, but my knees started getting numb from crouching behind the dryer.
I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.
I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
It was so cold that when we milk the cows we got ice cream.
Last time I saw jugs that big, 2 hillbillies were blowing on them.
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
Studies show it’s totally okay for me to just say “studies show” in front of whatever I want to say.
There`s a pretty good chance I`ll end up being one of those senior citizens who randomly bites people...