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I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
I just realized that if we drink enough wine, the adult`s table will become the kid`s table.
When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?
You know you are old when your birthday suit doesn`t fit anymore.
Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he’s walking around like a sour puss.
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
"Okay" means you`re in the clear. "K" means you`re better off not coming home. Fellas, you know what I`m talking about.
The best part of waking up is.....wait, I didn`t think this through entirely.
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
I wouldn’t say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
Let’s just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".