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When a woman says "what?" its not because she didn`t hear you. She`s giving you a chance to change what you just said.
I just found handcuffs, a whip and a mask in my girlfriend’s bedroom. I can’t believe she’s a super hero.
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That`s about as organic you`re gonna get out of me.
The WWF advert asks, “When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” ... Well, swimming, I suppose.
I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I`m going to a different cafe.
What happens in Vegas never happens to me
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)