Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.
So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed...
Iām sick of closing out every job interview with āI was young. I needed the money.ā
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What`ve you got?
The iPad Air is named after what`s left in your bank account when you buy one.
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
Are headaches the result of time spent with woman or is it purely a coincidence?
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
Iām bored enough to clean.
Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession.
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
Madonna is 55 her boyfriend is 22. Tina Turner is 75 her boyfriend is 40. JLo is 42 her boyfriend is 26. Still single? Relax. Your boyfriend hasn`t been born yet.