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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I really like cake.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
I`ll take "who the f*ck would know that" for $600, Alex.
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
If you ever feel sad remember that there’s a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.
Note to self: Stop leaving notes to yourself, you never read them anyway...
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
When I rule the world, it will be illegal to have an opinion until you`ve proven that you are not an idiot.
I`ve dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I`m getting smokin` hot is by getting cremated.