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Not to brag, but I`m pretty good in bed. I don`t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
What I do when I black out is none of my business.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
It`s weird how we are all here because of boners
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
Chinese scientists have discovered the rare rock n roll panda it will only eat A wop bop a loo lop a wop Bamboo
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.