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An awkward morning beats a boring night.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
Those awkward moments when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your kids for being just like you....
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
I recently added squats to my daily workout routine and I did so by moving my beer to the bottom shelf in my refrigerator.
You know your a$s is ugly when you`re the one always asked to take the photo.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
I wasn`t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I really feel about you!
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
I`m confused by this "It`s 5 o`clock somewhere" statement. Bars open at 11. Idiots.
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.