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I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
Not so great minds also think alike.
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
I don’t know how your day is going, but I just got lucky on the couch! Yep, I found a dollar!