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I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
Checking the time on your phone twice because you were`nt paying attention the first time
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
When I think of a SELFIE, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of...
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
Porn teaches kids an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
How strict is the "I licked it, it`s mine" policy? There`s some things I`ve licked that I don`t want.
I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.
I`m one of the nicest a$$holes you could ever hope to meet.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!!!!
I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.