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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
At any given time, my wallet is worth more than it’s contents.
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning with a glass of water on my bedside table with a note saying “for hungover me” I drank it and it was vodka. Drunk me can be such an asshole!
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
If you are alone and feeling lonely, fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.
I don`t understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion.
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.