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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
I bet more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
You know when you’re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That’s happening to me, only with beer.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
My new dating profile just says "I`m tired of masturbating."
I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those medications.