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Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it.
I`ve ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child.
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
The parent-teacher conference is going great. They have no idea I’m not the teacher.
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
Hello...
My GPS says "time of arrival" ... I see "time to beat."
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
This jar of peanut butter says "may contain nuts" on it. Remember when survival of the fittest was a thing? Good times.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
when in Rome get naked ;)
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments so they look crazy.
If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo`s show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it`s Halloween because our family reunion was in July....