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I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
My minivan is always rocking, but it`s usually because I`m trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.
Just changed my dating profile headline to: “Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives” …crossing my fingers.
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
Did I ever tell you about my old girlfriend? The one with the "Lazy Eye"? I had to break up with her, she was seeing somebody on the side..........................
The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let`s go off script. What are you wearing?"
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
Don’t be too flattered. If I’ve come up a fun nickname for you, chances are it’s because I’ve forgotten your real name. Sorry, Cowboy.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
It’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home, right?
I want to sleep tighter
Save water, shower together.
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.