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Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
I think a good gauge of my personality is that I watch Homeland to relax.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
Thanks for the free weekend offer E-Harmony but my wife said I can`t use it.
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.