Daily Silly Status

Life is beautiful ...... but Monday`s suck all the way around.

In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.

I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!

I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.

Spent $50 on E-bay to enlarge my happy place. The creep sent me a magnifying glass.

Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.

I react to "Someone has tagged a photo of you..." in the same way I react to a doctor saying, "Your test results came back..."

They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.

If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.

If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.

I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.

I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.

Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station`s phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho.

Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)

If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?