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Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
Don’t ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, I’m not sorry about your table.
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
If you hear a roommate having loud sex, a cool thing to do is kick down the door and shout "player 3 has entered the game!"
I thought a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it only changes the color of the baby.
Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....
I just blew all my party money on bills again
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn`t tear away ..
I hate sneezing during sex, as it alerts the neighbours and lets them know I`m watching.
I only use the outdoors to get to another indoors.
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(