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A wise man once said nothing.
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
I generally don`t hang out with people who are missing digits on their feet. It`s not that I`m a jerk. I`m just lack-toes intolerant.
One of my favorite discoveries about adulthood is that there are literally no rules stopping you from eating an entire row of Oreos at once.
I`ve found that the things I`m most interested in aren`t really in my best interest.
props to the parent at the mall that walked up afterward to ask santa what his kid wanted lol
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
I tried to login on my iPad. Turns out it was an etch-a-sketch and I don`t own an iPad. Also. I`m out of alcohol.
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
When I think of all the money I`ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
You can’t please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.