Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
Do handjobs from girls who speak sign language count as blowjobs
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
I don`t wanna be told what to do unless I`m naked
Bulimia: Twice the taste. Zero Calories.
If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!"
Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode.
I`ve never heard an alarm going off on a car worth stealing.
I was really pissed at my girlfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered she`s imaginary. So I`m good.