Daily Silly Status

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.

I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.

This headache feels like dumb people

The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.

Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.

Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can`t do is pick up it`s own poop. You`re just a poop collector.

I just did a bunch of crunches and curls. There were Nestle Crunches and cheese curls, but still. I`m exhausted.

Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....

Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I`m 82.

Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?

I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.

Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"

I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99

Being a woman should count as a pre-existing mental condition.

Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.