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My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
Everything in earthquake-prone areas should be built on top of a giant Tempurpedic mattress.
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
Hold that pose. My camera is ringing.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
I wish I had the kind of life my spam folder thinks I have!
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
Your parents taught you to wash your hands after you pee. My parents taught me not to pee on my hands in the first place.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
I remembered my wedding anniversary today. It was last week.
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.