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SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
Did 4 push ups & 2 sit ups then ate 4 doughnuts & drank 2 beers. It`s called balance people!
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
No one has ever been in an empty room.
Last night I was thrown out of the casino for misunderstanding the use of the Crap table.
What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.
Things that don`t kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming